It is true, I think back with so much time that has passed now. And I don't think of those days of skyping, of the butterflies, of all the good things. Because the mind is practical and doesn't have time for the fluff before things went south.
And what I learned from my trek into the past is that I want someone who is kind. I want someone who chooses their words and actions carefully. I want to be tougher, but ultimately I want someone who will cherish me if I stay as sensitive as I am. I want someone who takes great care in the impact their words will have, and the impact of their actions. I want someone who will hold me without complaint, pursue me without condition. I want to believe that there is better out there. Because if there isn't I can't put myself out there again.
My heart goes back and forth. Some days I love being single and can't imagine complicating it. And then an hour later I'm dreaming of the spoils of marriage and the privilege of joining my life with someone else's. My heart fells like a tug of war and I can't decide.
So I suppose my conclusion is yes. I do want it. I am ready for it. Perhaps. But if it is to come, I want someone who is kind. I don't want it to be like before. And I'm not afraid to the struggle and the hard days that will ultimately come. I'm not afraid of any strife. Because I know if I at least have someone who loves the Lord and who is kind, we will be good.
And what I learned from my trek into the past is that I want someone who is kind. I want someone who chooses their words and actions carefully. I want to be tougher, but ultimately I want someone who will cherish me if I stay as sensitive as I am. I want someone who takes great care in the impact their words will have, and the impact of their actions. I want someone who will hold me without complaint, pursue me without condition. I want to believe that there is better out there. Because if there isn't I can't put myself out there again.
My heart goes back and forth. Some days I love being single and can't imagine complicating it. And then an hour later I'm dreaming of the spoils of marriage and the privilege of joining my life with someone else's. My heart fells like a tug of war and I can't decide.
So I suppose my conclusion is yes. I do want it. I am ready for it. Perhaps. But if it is to come, I want someone who is kind. I don't want it to be like before. And I'm not afraid to the struggle and the hard days that will ultimately come. I'm not afraid of any strife. Because I know if I at least have someone who loves the Lord and who is kind, we will be good.