You can go a lifetime without saying anything you ever really mean.
You can say "Thanks for the update, I love you" when what you really feel is the deep want to talk to them, but aren't sure how to transition to that.
You can say, "I've just been tired lately" which is great code for I'm struggling with self control and relapse, and I waste time before I go to bed so I don't have to feel guilty for going through another day this way and leaving God as an last afterthought.
You can say, "I'm just happy being single, I don't want anything more right now" which inevitably means I'm too scared to date again and have constructed such a distinct vision in my mind of who I will marry that I am too scared to try to find it and be disappointed.
You can say "I love my job" which means I survive it each day and am somehow able to glaze over for my own sanity my daily frustrations, woes, and lamentations about work to print a prettier picture in my mind.
You can say "I'm enjoying the adventure of living in a new city for now" which means I deeply long to live elsewhere, but know this is better than where I came from, but my heart still finds discontent that I won't admit.
You can say "Looking back I'm so happy I took that trip, it was the best experience I've ever had" which means at the time you were tired, often frustrated, and pushing yourself to enjoy it so that you could look back and glaze over this too with fondness.
You can smile for a picture, look thrilled, and somehow erase that in that moment, you were exhausted to tears, sick, miserable, and wanting the day to end, yet have something pretty to show for it.
Political correctness, being positive, making good impressions are all perfect ways to lie. Emotions are so many layers deep it's often hard to pick which layer to penetrate to. Behind every action is a motive, a reason, a deep seated drive. The world is our facade, we are our own actors. Nothing is quite real, but it all is somehow quite bearable.
You can say "Thanks for the update, I love you" when what you really feel is the deep want to talk to them, but aren't sure how to transition to that.
You can say, "I've just been tired lately" which is great code for I'm struggling with self control and relapse, and I waste time before I go to bed so I don't have to feel guilty for going through another day this way and leaving God as an last afterthought.
You can say, "I'm just happy being single, I don't want anything more right now" which inevitably means I'm too scared to date again and have constructed such a distinct vision in my mind of who I will marry that I am too scared to try to find it and be disappointed.
You can say "I love my job" which means I survive it each day and am somehow able to glaze over for my own sanity my daily frustrations, woes, and lamentations about work to print a prettier picture in my mind.
You can say "I'm enjoying the adventure of living in a new city for now" which means I deeply long to live elsewhere, but know this is better than where I came from, but my heart still finds discontent that I won't admit.
You can say "Looking back I'm so happy I took that trip, it was the best experience I've ever had" which means at the time you were tired, often frustrated, and pushing yourself to enjoy it so that you could look back and glaze over this too with fondness.
You can smile for a picture, look thrilled, and somehow erase that in that moment, you were exhausted to tears, sick, miserable, and wanting the day to end, yet have something pretty to show for it.
Political correctness, being positive, making good impressions are all perfect ways to lie. Emotions are so many layers deep it's often hard to pick which layer to penetrate to. Behind every action is a motive, a reason, a deep seated drive. The world is our facade, we are our own actors. Nothing is quite real, but it all is somehow quite bearable.